Why Men Are Not Committing To Relationships

men and commitment

Written by Marvin Ady @theadyproject

Join The Conversation on Twitter @theadyproject | #MenAndCommitment

Times have changed. They have changed so much that “love” and “relationships” are ideas and dreams rather than reality. This transition occurred due to the fact that men are not committing to relationships as much as before. Women will quickly point to the fact that men are dogs but lack the loyalty of a dog. Despite man’s predisposition to want to have sex with any woman that says “hello”, there are other contributing factors keeping men from taking that next step.


In this day and age, technology has made it impossible to remain focused on one particular task or one particular person. A world that was once separated by six degrees, is now separated by two degrees if that. Today, men have access to a lot more women. They have more options. Social networks such as Twitter and Facebook open up doors that were not there before. There is no urgency for a man to commit because in his mind, there will always be someone else.

In addition to having access to more women, a lot of those women are making it easy for men to “close the deal” without signing on the dotted line. Drink the milk without buying the cow, so to speak. These women have little to no “emotional” standards. Basically, they are content with physical & financial gratification without the emotional attachment. Unfortunately for women looking to snag a good man, these women have all of the little attention men have to give.

While the immature nature of men stand in their way of committing, confused women also makes it difficult for a man to make a decision on where he wants the relationship to go. When it comes to relationships, even the greatest leaders take their cue from the woman in their life. If she’s confused about what she wants, he clearly will not take the relationship any more serious than he is. Also, women often communicate in signals and expect men to decipher them. At times, these unspoken messages are mixed and are often ignored or misread. It is important for a woman to communicate clearly to a man what she wants and not leave it up to him to figure things out. Discovering what women really want is very challenging to a man. Yes, there are the obvious basics that include attention, affection, honesty and security but there are details of each aspect that are particular to each woman. How much attention does she need? What kind of affection does she desire? What level of commitment does she require of me? These are some of the questions that men need the black & white responses to.

One of the biggest reasons men do not commit to real relationships is because women have let “alternative” relationships become acceptable. More and more women are settling for situations, arrangements, and agreements rather than relationships. They act like girlfriends and wives without making things official. Instead, they accept being his “shawty” or “wifey”. Furthermore, they do not hold their men accountable for his actions. While she’s acting like the perfect housewife, he’s out being single. He has the best of both worlds.

There is no strategy that could be employed that will get a man to commit wholeheartedly. It is something that he chooses to do when he is ready. A woman has to be patient but she also has to make sure that he is taking the steps that will lead to a commitment. She also has to be clear about what her expectations are and make sure that he knows what those expectations are also. Furthermore, it is important that she knows what he wants out of the relationship. Lastly, she should never settle for a man who does not want to commit if that is something she aspires for.

For Questions, Comments & Feedback, email: marvinady@gmail.com

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